Daughter love

I'm nt here bcs of my mom nor dad I am here bcos of 3 siblings . I love them very much . They are the one who filled my life with colours . Upon the birth of my second sister I was happy and excited same goes to the twin . My dad can curse me as much as he want . Yes I'm stupid and brainless . I can't be done I'm spoilt , my future is empty . Giving birth to me was a mistake . They regret having me . So am I . Like he say , he have no choice . They gave up on me, but i know god will be there, he will be there to lead me .nevertheless , im dissapointed w the fact that how my parent bring up the kids and me yet im thankful fr what they have done . ive been mentally abused from than to now . my life is filled w lies, bcos im afraid, im afraid of them .I don't blame anyone that I'm being like this .all I wanted was a lil bit of happiness and love that i wanted every since I was young. I never had it !! While u say my mind is flying when I'm constantly thinking reflecting how unlucky I am . How pathetic my life is. How risky . As much as how much my mum wanna die so much I wish I had die before she gave birth to me . Thanks to all this . I'm growing . Weaker . I've face too many shit at this fcking age , and I don't want to face it anymore . So therefore if u say u don't need me anymore , fine . I won't hesitate to leave the hse when the time come . Dad mind ur words the key to me is in my hand not my man . I choose whether I shud gave u or not.  My mum hated me long ago .my dad drag me and fck my mind all day long .