hanya الله‎ ta'ala

20 Aug 1995 ,

The date to remember as i turn older every year .

And now i have turn 21. 

Time pass by when your'e having fun . 

but my "fun" was temporary over after things happen and jumble up my year

into sadness & emotional breakdown . 

Begitu beratnya allah mengujiku .

Begitu cepatnya orang yang kita pernah sayang berubah fikiran .

Feeling like I'm losing my personality . I just cant be myself around anyone .

Im not as social as i used to be . I used to be spontaneous but now prior speaking to someone 

that i am very close to. 

They think I'm psycho, yes i have friends but they left . 

EVERYONE LEFT ME .

They left when everything changes .

Astagfirullah , lemahnya dan rendahnya imanku ini ..

I lost concentration I lost my job i lost my hopes , I'm stuck . 

I wasted years of not listening to my parents, hack care them .

Priority other people more than my own blood .

This year 21st birthday was the day i finally got connected to myself . 

I took a pause asking myself what i really wanted and needed to be happy . 

Exploring what it would look like to be living a life i love . 

To be fully and completely rooted in my truth . and living my passion 

I set an intention to "Change my life" by listing of thing i believed i need to do and have. 

I became devoted to finding myself and building a new chapter .

Finally i realise that it was my family . 

It was my Family who stay , allah has answered to my mother prayers . 

Mak tak pernah putus berdoa untuk kebaikkan faghira i was being blinded 

all this while.. It pains me to see my mom tears rolling over after all the sacrifices that she has done 

for me since birth . 

How can i not see it ? 

MY FAMILY STAY! MY PARENTS SUPPORTED ME ! MY PARENTS PUSH ME TO STRIVE .

MY FAMILY GOT MY BACK .

My family have love me so much , my family was the one wiping my tears 

of during every sadness my family are the only one that will comfort me ...

Thank you for your support , those friends who stay and give me so much of love .

Especially to my big big family tree who constantly keeping a look out for me ..

Faghira mintak maaf mak , faghira tahu mak sentiasa doakan kebaikkan faghira , 

faghira mintak maaf kalau faghira pernah lukakan hati mak ..

Faghira sayang mak sangat ..

Insyallah , satu hari nanti kita ke tanah suci sama2 sekeluarga . 

Seperti apa yang mak impikan .

Ps : Setiap ujian dari allah pasti ada hikmahnya , semakin allah sayang , semakin kuat ujian buatnya.

hanya الله‎ ta'ala yang mengetahu 

kerna الله‎ ta'ala sentiasa bersamaku